Thoughts about Mother ...

(Gurudev's Divine mother left her physical abode on 16 June 2015 in Kodakara, Kerala, India. Below are the thoughts that Gurudev shared of the deep absence ...)
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Response to PN Subramanian on 17 June 2015

Dear Subramanianji,

My mother was very dear to me, though I left her 45 years ago in search of God alone knows what? Thereafter, I met her only once in a year, that too for a few hours. She asked for nothing, nor did I give her any thing.  She managed to raise her eight children with her sweat and toil and just loved and lived for them. My father who passed away ten years ago was a pillar of strength for all of us. Now both are gone, it is all over. An unbearable emptiness. A huge tree has been uprooted and taken out, only a deep chasm and few gnarled roots and crushed dry leaves remain to remind the loss.  Some old memories flash across the mind, of the innocent and simple lives we lived, under poverty conditions, in a crime free village, tucked away in encircling low range mountains, far from the madding crowd.  It was an idyllic life-temple, school, friends and ghost stories; planting harvesting, threshing; floods and the winding river in spate, long walks and political and philosophical discussions. Then the inner storm hurled me into the vortex of events beyond my control and my mother waited patiently for my safe return from the turmoil. Little did she realize that time is a cruel wheeler dealer and has no ear for the inaudible sobs of pious loving  mothers.  I never returned to her world, and she never lost hope. Love is an inexhaustible wellspring. My nephew phoned me in the whee hours of early morning, Tuesday, 16 June,  to announce the passing away of my beloved mother. I knew that it was coming, that it was inevitable, that it was the law of nature,  that the born shall die, that she was 87 years old, but still the child in me clings my mother--as the earth opens and the fire blazes forth and gathers her with its thousand golden hands. 

Regards,

Swami Bodhananda.
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Response to Shobha and Gaurav on 18 June 2015

Dear Shobha and Gaurav,

Thank you for offering prayers for my departed mother. I felt an unbearable emptiness on hearing her passing, a tremulous sob in the depth of my stomach, a final snapping of an invisible umbilical chord. I met her only more than a dozen times the last forty five years, ​like a breezy cloud let passing by a dry thirsty wrinkled hillock. Her wait was eternal, a flower of unfading fragrance. I wonder what could have been its source? Except pure love! I trust your intuition that your Ammumma and my Amma shining their soulful purity will share stories free of all cares sitting at the lotus feet of Vishnu. 

Love,

Swami Bodhananda.
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